third day

My emotions are going up and down like the freaking giant drop ride I went on when I was 16. So high and then come crashing down so fast and hard you hope your heart won't fall out of its chest.

Again, we met up for dinner and movie. had some time alone. was very awkward. I wanted to be normal. for the sake of being friends. Well probably in the vain hope that he'd change his mind. My heart aches for him.

I went to bed better than I had in weeks last night. I think I'm just exhausted. I did 3 hours of laundry. And I sat up to watch tv till the wee hours of the morning. But its also because he told me he had to put up a brave front as well. it feels a wee bit better knowing that I'm not suffering alone. But its a wee bit. I hope he's still sad weeks from now. That way he'll see he's making a big mistake. I hope.

Dear God,

Only you and you alone know me inside out.
You know my fears, my shortcomings, and my evil thoughts. But you also know my heart, my intentions, and my sincerity.
Please help me get past this quickly. Please.

Amen